ok, so our baby #4 who has had 3 open heart surgeries and is only 3 yrs old has boundless energy. It is exhausting... am I the only one who's exhausted... I wish he was. He is such a happy kid and so full of energy I can not keep up! Of course, on top of all of his boundless energy is his younger sister who follows right after him but when she's tired, she will willingly lay down. He bounces everywhere. I worry sometimes when he is on the quieter side that he's having heart palpitations or something else wrong, because he is always so amped up. Anyone else know a cardiac kid who's had at least 3 surgeries as a little one and was different. We were warned that he may develop ADHD because of the amount of anesthesia he's had. I don't see the correlation but the Dr's mentioned it's possibility. Is that what is going on? I know he had a lot of energy even for a little baby on only 65% oxygen level. So we were aware of how much he may have once he regained a closer to full high 90% oxygen level. He makes my head spin sometimes. I know all toddlers give their parents a run for their money, so to speak. But man, o' man... does he ever!
Baby #5 is angelic and sweet with a temper that is of EPIC proportions. She says please and thank you, but if she doesn't get what she wants when she want's it.. WATCH out... full on temper tantrum on the floor, rolling, kicking and screaming... ear piercing screech! I try to ignore it and redirect... but I'm not sure how to stop this behavior. I don't remember how to handle this from her older siblings... maybe because as boys we never had to deal with this kind of behavior... I'm at a loss. How does one help a toddler who's almost 2 yrs old deal with all these emotions.
How do you help a 19 yr old boy realize he has worth? I feel like I'm struggling between worst mother of the year and somewhere around manageable mother some of the time. With him I feel like a complete failure. I mean... he's not turned out horrible by any stretch... I just feel like I haven't been able to help him find his worth and believe in a positive future.
How does one have the energy to make meals from scratch when some days I have a hard time getting out of bed... I wake up exhausted. I feel overwhelmed quite a bit. I am treading water and flailing it feels like, quite a bit. I know I'm deficient in Vitamin D and B12. So I take supplements. That adds to the feelings of malaise I'm sure. Trying to find time and energy to do schoolwork with the toddlers are down for a nap/quiet time is so hard.. All I really wanna do is take a nap myself. I know I need to focus on my schooling, house cleaning, cooking, planning, helping to get my house ready to sell and the list goes on and on... but by the time they are put down... I'm already worn ragged... I don't drink, smoke or any of that kind of thing... I've been trying to watch what I eat... but I don't even have the energy to get on the treadmill in my room and take a walk. I just want to sleep. Anyone else feel that way?
I struggle to not over burden anyone else in the family with my lack of energy and feelings. I know we are all struggling with out own stuff... My husband is traveling a bunch, and we aren't really communicating much these days. We have been going in separate directions under the guise of going in the same direction.. Our approach isn't unified but I don't know how to broach the subject without making it into a fight, especially one I'm too exhausted to do level headed and correctly handled. So we avoid each other. It's not good but neither one of us feels we can open up right now about the HUGE elephant in the room. It's sad and lonely. I love him dearly.
My life is a mess... but I'm managing as best I can. I feel like since I'm running on fumes I needed to vent a little to the void that is my blog. I really don't thing anyone actually reads it, so it's safe. Right? We shall see what the fall out becomes. Time will tell. After 20 years of being married and a mother for 19... so much has happened.... it's important to remain committed to the life we chose. I/We will make it through together. WE are just having a rough spot. Everyone has them. if they say they aren't then they are lying. Peace be with you, and God bless. Thanks for taking the time to read my rant.
